Dear you.

First of all, what is misconduct?
There are already many definitions of confidentiality and sacretness of teacher-student, therapist/healer-client relationships. Within most professional educations and assosiations are also a code of ethics and professional standards. The simple reason is to protect the student/client (and sometimes the teacher/therapist).

Even when the student or client have a crush on the teacher or want a private relationship, sex, ... it is break of trust from the teacher if he/she gives in. Of course love can happen, and the teacher/therapist can step back from the professional job (meaning work with something else for a while) and at the same time of course refer the client / student to  another teacher/ therapist. 
Within kundalini yoga in tradition after Yogi Bhajan is a "cool of" period that last at least 6 months. This means if the teacher want to engage with you in private and it is mutual, then to simply take 6 months break from each other and feel within if you both still want a private relationship after this time and what kind of relationship. This is to take care of the student.

You can get some help on the dynamichs- and tips how to handle (both as teacher and student) in the book Sex and the spiritual teacher. One way to put it is very simple. When you go to your doctor, you don´t expect him/her to want an intimate relationship with you and be invited into your life as other than a proffesionel.

Other clues are:

• Your teacher grasp you
• Kiss you when vaulnerble
• Uses your vaulnerbility for his/her own purpose.
• Want to date you and does not stop teaching 
• Want secret relationship with you
• Might want you to lie for him/her
• The teacher does maybe not accept "no" for an answer
• Think all his/her problems are everybody else fault
• Try to seek you or your friends up in privately and might even where you live
• Talks, calls or text inappropiate messages to you
• You most likely think you are the only one
• You are lied to
• Manipulated
• Or even worse as rape and much else

When more subtile versions clients/student might not recognize in the beginning what is going on. 
However they are all violation of the teacher/therapist/healer student/client role.

It can simply also be a teacher wanting you to lent him/her money and other crazyness.

There can be different ways around it and also most clients and students are embaresed when they discover they are not the only one, that they were flattered to give in, thought the teacher really really loved them, might be married ... (The list is long.)
 
What to do about it to make it stop:

CALL IT OUT LOUD is one posibility depending the situation.

This can be done in several ways.

• Say "no"
• Going to the police, i.e a teacher stalking you, have been sexual inapropiate, keeps texting you, keeps contacting you, .... does not respect your "no".
• Go to the teachers/therapist professional organisation or association. (Within kundalini yoga, tradition after Yogi Bhajan, you can send an email to eps@epsweb.org. They are located in Espaniola, NM.) You can do this to help make it stop and prevent it to happen to others. The teacher can get help to change behavior or get kicked out if it is a repeadetly problem. Here I refer to kundalini yoga because that is what I know, but unfortunately this is an issue within so many kind of "spiritual settings" so if this happens to you go to the teachers/therapist professional organisation.
• Post on facebook groups and social medias and so on. If one step forward most likely many more will.

Why: To take care and protect yourself! Simple as that.  
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As a kundalini yoga student you have the right to a safe room for practice and learning. See photo below. In different therapy directions or main organisations there are also rules and guidelines.
It is unfortunately not always made officially that there are rights as a student/client. Many people seek up therapy, yoga- and other practise and events when vaulnerble and hoping to heal and grow or just do something new and expand. This shall be hornered by the practitioner/teacher/therapist.
The sessions, classroom ... be a safe space and the teacher-studen relationship as well.

Get help: 
If you are a curent or former kundalini yogini or yogi who has meet a teacher that overstepped the sacredness of his/her role as a teacher, then feel free to reach out to me. 
Let me know if you want to meet others. If you want to be in a self help group or what you need. 

May we all grow and live into more love, connection to our soul and happiness.

In service and with love,
Ajeetdev Kaur Khalsa

See the previous blogpost "Call it out loud - Sex and the spriritual teacher"

Dear you. Namaste.
 
Here is a recommendation to read the book “Sex and the spiritual teacher”.

It is a must read for all teachers, therapists AND students, spiritual people and clients.

In the kundalini yoga community we are currently deeply shaken after it has been revealed the founder of one tradition, Yogi Bhajan, was a crook, a rapist and much else really bad. (Yogi Bhajan died 15 years ago.)
He healed and helped so many many thousands over the years, but he definitely​ also did big big harm – so far as we know to at least 300 persons and most likely many more. There is a report that has just come out, ordered to be made of a neutral organization, An Olive Branch, by the main kundalini yoga organization after yogi Bhajan: 3HO, where people could come forward if they wished to. 

Though chocking it is unfortunately not uncommon. Just take Osho, Bigram, Sai Baba, Mojii running with way to young girls/women, Yingar (woman who was terrible and abusive to her students), Deepak Chopak, Prem Baba, Shivananda, some hatha hot shot teachers and so many others.
 
And it is so so many places else. Teachers, therapists … are breaking the confidentiality of their students/clients. The culture of rape and injustice by old patriarchal figures in the Piscean age (Epstein and all the others with lines to Trump, the British royal family (Albert), the catholic church …) Abuse of children and grownups. This come from very subtile break of boundaries to very heavy forms.
As with the #metoo movement it is time, time to stop it and call it out loud.

Call it out loud to stop it and make a change. 

Unfortunately within yoga and kundalini yoga this is not only past. Yogi Bhajan died 15 years ago, but within all yoga there are still teachers who believe in their right to date, kiss, grasp, manipulate, have sex with, lie to … students. It is simply a no go. Read the book and do your process both as spiritual teacher/therapist and student/client.

If you happen to be a former or current kundalini yogi student in Denmark, tradition after yogi Bhajan and have been mislead by your kundalini yoga teacher, please feel free to reach out.
Let me know if you want to meet some of the others women where break of boundaries in student-teacher relationship has been or is. Also if you are interested in a self-help group with a facilitator. I´ll do this as a seva project or if needed try to find an organization with a facilitator outside the yoga environment.

If you have been violated by your spiritual teacher and are interested in a therapy group, you are welcome to reach out to me. It will most likely be in Copenhagen or/and online.

The first 11 pages of the book “Sex and the spiritual teacher” can be read at this link and else you can buy it in a shop. I read it years back and curently I´m listening to it. It can help both students/clients who want to take care of themselves, the ones where boundaries between teacher-student roles has been overstepped/changed/broken and for all spiritual facilitators/teachers/ therapists.
 
Remember there are also many great and respectful teachers. However not the topic of the post.
Wishing us all spiritual growth and safe uplifting frames to grow and expand within.

With love & in service
Ajeetdev Kaur Khalsa 

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